Suffocate And Gasping For an Air

What's life? For me, the best definition for a life is a disaster, a one living hell and turning a human into a living corpse. People often said that life has its ups and downs. From the viewed of my own perception, it slowly killing people and always at the point of bringing people down.

Its 31st of december today and I'm gonna start a new chapter starting tomorrow and honestly speaking, I'm not looking forward for a celebration. Every day I spend pondering about things that have to do with life. Most all of them make me feel helpless. It seems like there is no universal answers out there and people agree and disagree on every single topic. Here's some examples. Why is there something instead of nothingness, why must we have so much of god test, is life really what it seems. From here I try to look up stuff to help me out with questions like these and it just makes it worse. It seems like all philosophical questions have no answer's to them. Stuff like solipsism and nihilism really scare me. New philosophical things always pop up into my head everyday for me to worry about. I feel like I'm losing my mind over these things.